With national signing day right around the corner for college football, the recruit-fervor is ramping up. We’re talking about stars and commits and 18-year-olds ready to sell their souls to a coach with a wink and a track record of NFL prospects all over the country.
So it got me to thinking, what would this process look like if we stopped with all the BS? What if coaches were actually honest — and able to be honest — with the players they were trying to lure to their programs? What if each player being recruited blew out a candle at their birthday and wished that “for just one recruitment letter, these coaches couldn’t lie”?
Let’s find out.
(*Author’s note: the Morse Code translation for this reads – “DEAR YOUNG MAN, I AM WRITING YOU WITH THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY THEY CALL “MORSE CODE.” WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT? I BELIEVE THAT YOU NEED TO COME TO MANHATTAN AND PLAY FOOTBALL FOR ME. WE HAVE MAGICAL INSTRUMENTS THAT THE KIDS ARE CALLING “PHONES” AND A LIMITLESS SUPPLY OF ADULT PAMPERS, IF YOU’RE INTO THAT KIND OF THING. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO WRITE BACK WITH LONGFORM, SCRIMSHAW, OR — IF YOU’RE FEELING CRAZY — SMOKE SIGNALS. I’VE GOT TO RUN, I’VE GOT A METAMUCIL SHAKE TO DRINK BEFORE I TAKE A NAP! SINCERELY, BILL SNYDER”