Last night Lonzo Ball made his much-anticipated regular season debut and it was an unpleasant experience, to say the least…
a patrick beverley/lonzo ball story in two parts pic.twitter.com/k67njaX5Hc
— Whitney Medworth (@its_whitney) October 20, 2017
Lonzo finished with a paltry stat line that consisted of 3 points, 4 assists, and 9 boards, but if you consider he was basically just trying to survive the Beverley Torture Chamber, he had a decent debut.
Which brings me to this…
would you rather have patrick beverley guard you for two minutes or spend a week trapped in a car trunk full of scorpions
— Shea Serrano (@SheaSerrano) October 20, 2017
That’s an interesting question. I leaned towards getting bodied by Patty Bev until my man Robby made this point in the group Slack…
When you frame it like that, give me the scorpions every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
But this exercise has me thinking: What other dreadful experiences would I consider putting myself through to avoid the Beverley experience?
Would I rather have Patrick Beverley guard me for two minutes or have Jason Whitlock lecture me about race relations? Stop it.
Would I rather have Patrick Beverley guard me for two minutes or watch three hours of Jinder Mahal matches? Oof.
Would I rather have Patrick Beverley guard me for two minutes or eat an entire pineapple pizza? COME AT ME, BEV!