Summer really sucks. It’s hot and the only sports offerings are playoff basketball at the beginning (elicits a mild interest from me) and a long, sweaty, uncomfortable, long, annoying, long, dusty, long, agonizing, long, Chris-Berman-Homerun-Derby-back-back-back-back-back-back, long, boring, long, boring, long, boring, long, stretch of that old-timey sport of baseball, desperately trying to cling to its title of “America’s Pastime,” which we all know is true in name only. The real pastime of this country? Come on. Football. And it’s finally here! Thank whatever deity you pray to because it is finally here. You don’t have to pretend to like baseball anymore!
It was almost too much for me to bear. I don’t know how much more of it I could have weathered before crumbling into a despondent mess on the floor of my house with our two cats crawling all over me hoping only that I would feed them. They would not see my fragile mental state as an opportunity to comfort me, oh no. They would pretend to be all lovey-dovey, only to try and get me to feed them earlier than we usually do. Cats are clever that way.
Back to our topic at hand: football. Yes, I know that college football started this past week and it was glorious (go Huskers!) but nothing signifies the arrival of fall and the departure of Hell (summer) like the beginning of the NFL season. I’ve been ready for football since Rob Gronkowski couldn’t quite make that catch in the endzone against the Giants.
Speaking of the Gronk, he’s a fantasy beast (I picked him up on WAIVERS last year. Waivers!!). Get him if you can. Also, I read an article in the NFL Preview issue of Sports Illustrated (the actual magazine issue, not their separate fantasy preview that they put out) that delves into what makes Gronk, Gronk. It was a fun read.
Anyway (as you can see I get easily distracted), I’ve been sating my need for football by playing NCAA 11 on my Xbox and the recently acquired (Thanks to my wife, Wanda! Love ya, babe!) Madden 13. I’ve won fake national championships and created myself as a scrappy halfback on the Dolphins roster. I ordered HBO just so that I could watch my beloved Dolphins on Hard Knocks. I’ve entered six (6? 6!) fantasy football leagues. I’ve never finished greater than second in a fantasy football league and my chances of winning go down with every new league I join. I won’t win the No Coast Bias fantasy league. You other teams can count on that.
I’m ready for real football. And it has finally arrived. Here’s to a great season, everyone. Drink a beer in celebration and hunker down tonight to watch the Cowboys and Giants. Woo hoo!
(Images courtesy of espnamerica.com; deadspin.com; talkprofootball.com; http://prod.www.giants.clubs.nfl.com)
your style reminds me of a young Matthew Berry, I enjoy the entertaining tangents
David, I just saw your comment today. Thank you! I’m a goof ball.