Between the Eagles already losing a couple players to torn ACLs and Sam Bradford’s history of knee issues, Eagles fans have decided to mitigate the chances of a potential injury and just ask the Pope to bless Bradford’s knee. Bradford figures to be the starter at QB this year with Mark Sanchez and Matt Barkley backing him up (and Tim Tebow?). So do we think it’s a good call to ask the Pope for a little help? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Exactly. And who knows, maybe that’s why coach Kelly signed Tebow – thinking he might be able to pull a few strings in the Vatican. At the time of this post, 5911 people have signed the petition on change.org. The fans have set the goal at 7500 signatures for some weird reason. Maybe 7500 is the magic number the Pope requires to start blessing random footballer’s appendages – who knows? But either way, this got us over at NCB thinking about what other players could use a little help from ‘ol Frankie.
1) Adrian Peterson
Dear God, grant me the luck to not let the media find out if I hit my son with a switch again. Amen.
We assume this is possibly what Viking fans would petition the Pope to bless Adrian Peterson for. Either that or the the skill to just give a stern-talking-to instead. That’s probably the better of the two options. But hey, I’m not the one asking for the Pope’s help here.
2) IK Enemkpali
IK’s asking the Pope to help him pray that he makes the Bills squad past the preseason. He’d really love to get the chance to politely ask Geno Smith for his $600 again when they play the Jets in Week 10.
3) Jimmy Garoppolo
Jimmy’s praying that he plays an above average four games so he’s not the reason that the Pats don’t repeat as Super Bowl champs this year. That’s probably all you can pray for as Brady’s backup. Either that or to find a wife as hot as his mentor’s.
4) Tony Romo
Romo’s praying that Dez doesn’t get in another fight forcing Romo to stand behind his words. After Dez got into a fight in practice last week, Romo reportedly told him: “Nothing good’s going to come from this. If you turn around and break your hand, then I’m going to end up breaking mine because I’m going to be so mad at you, I’m going to hit you”. Just guessing here, but I think Romo was bluffing – and he could probably use a little help from the Pope to keep Bryant out of trouble so he doesn’t have to actually take a swing.
5) Jameis Winston
Jameis Winston, as we all know, went #1 in the draft to the terrible, terrible Bucs. The same terrible, terrible Bucs than finished last place in the division whose winner went to the playoffs with a losing record. The same terrible, terrible Bucs that gave up the 3th most sacks in the NFL last year with 52. Jameis is praying that his new O-line is even skronger than they were last year. For God’s sake, he doesn’t want this to happen to him again when his line lets a dozen or so guys through.