(Rankings used as of 9/15/12′s games)
1. Alabama – Arkansas’ Tyler Wilson says his team “quit” while getting beaten down by the defending national champions to the tune of 52-0. The rest of us call that “playing Alabama.”
2. Southern California – Matt Barkley’s a nice guy and all, but he’s officially 0-for-career against the Nerds from Palo Alto.
3. LSU – The only thing in Baton Rouge that Idaho’s Vandals damaged was the second quarter shutout Miles’ crew had going. Aside from that, the box score was clean as a whistle for the Bayou Bengals.
4. Oregon – With 63-14 being the chic final score (See: LSU), the Quack Attack donned chrome-finished wings on their helmets once more, taking Tennessee Tech to the woodshed. They’ll face a somewhat more legitimate test next week as they welcome Arizona to Autzen.
5. Florida State – Phil Steele’s 2012 team not only socked Wake Forest in the mouth, but never let the Demon Deacons put any points on the scoreboard. We’ll find out if Phil picked the right pony as Clemson visits next week.
5. Oklahoma – Did not play, however it is assumed that the Sooners still, in fact, have a football team.
7. Georgia – The Ol’ Silver Britches had no trouble with Carl Pelini’s Florida Atlantic squad, though realistically no one actually should. Aaron Murray looked sharp yet again save for a garbage time pick six, one of his few mistakes of the day.
8. South Carolina – UAB kept their tilt with the Gamecocks close . . . for about a quarter. Following a 7-3 opening stanza in Cocky’s favor, reality struck. Apparently its main target was quarterback Connor Shaw who can either pass or run with reckless abandon.
9. West Virginia – The most geographically appropriate of Big 12 schools blasted James Madison back to Harrisonburg. Geno Smith shelled the Dukes’ secondary with 411 passing yards and five touchdowns.
10. Michigan State – Sparty could only muster a field goal on their home soil against an Irish squad as ready to deal out pain as Clubber Lang.
11. Clemson – After a rigorous slate of Ball State and Furman, we get to see what Dabo’s crew is really made of in the aforementioned battle of . . . highly-ranked ACC teams? What manner of black magic is this?
12. Ohio State – The likely “winners of the Leaders division” shoved aside what looked like an early upset bid by Cal prompting Jeff Tedford’s pants to appear well past the preheating stage.
13. Virginia Tech – The Hokies lost by 18 points . . . to Pitt. Hang your heads in shame, Tech.
14. Texas – Perhaps the biggest positive of Bevo’s 66-31 punishment of Mississippi State is the additional programming for the Longhorn Network’s offseason broadcasts.
15. Kansas State – North Texas kept things a little too close for comfort in Manhattan. Was it a fluke? We’ll find out in a hurry as the Wildcats walk into Norman against a well-rested Sooner squad.
16. TCU – Whether coached by Turner Gill or Charlie Weis, a 20-6 victory over the Jayhawks is nothing to be proud of. The Horned Frogs did hold Lawrence’s Lovable Losers scoreless in the second half, though.
17. Michigan – The Wolverines had to wait to take out their frustration due to the Crimson Tide’s pummeling. Along came the freshly FBS-ed Minutemen of Massachusetts stopping by the Big House. Nice to see you, UMass, take your 63-13 loss and get out.
18. Florida – Will Muschamp’s damp, shaggy hair led the Gators to a second half explosion against rival Tennessee. This is what the Vols get when Smokey moons a national audience on ESPN Gameday.
19. Louisville – UNC exploded in the fourth quarter for 20 points, but The Ville held off a Tarheel upset 39-34.
20. Notre Dame – The Irish are 3-0, took down Michigan State and are traveling to Ann Arbor for their biggest test of the season.
21. Stanford – How do you out-troll a troll? Have your band leader dress up as your rivals’ mascot and lead the fight song after your (at this point eventual) win. Apparently “V” is for something else against the Cardinal.
22. UCLA – The Bruins weren’t about to let momentum from their win over Nebraska slip away. Aside from a garbage time touchdown, Houston couldn’t put any points on the board against Mora’s bunch.
23. Tennessee – Sit, Smokey, sit. Bad dog.
24. Arizona – While a 56-0 win probably felt good, the ‘Cats trip to Eugene won’t leave them as cheery.
25. BYU – Some coaches call timeouts to ice kickers. Utah sent all the fans. It seems strange that Lane Kiffin hadn’t tried this yet.
*Photo Credit: Hokiesports.com
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