NBA

In the First Week of the NBA Season, Who Went the Most Bonkers?

One week of NBA games are in the books, and things have already gotten out of control. In any seven day stretch of the NBA season there’s too much drama to sum up properly. But to celebrate opening week I will go over some of the most bonkers characters of this early season. It is in some order from least to most bonkers. To start, watch or rewatch the Lakers and Rockets fight it out in slow motion. It will come in handy throughout.

Chris Paul

As much as I’d love to speak ill about CP3, I am sorry to say that this time I cannot. It’s an interesting question: would you rather be punched in the face or get your face spat on? A punch brings pain but spitting brings a whole new level of disrespect. Paul got both of these from Rajon Rondo, one after the other. His reaction to being spit on – poking Rondo between the eyes – was interesting, to say the least. It led to being punched later, but I will never knock a man for defending his dignity. In this rare scenario, Paul is not at fault.

Nik Stauskas

Put up 24 to LeBron’s 26, doing more than anyone to spoil The King’s opening night as a Laker last Thursday. If that ain’t bonkers I don’t know what is.

Boban Marjanovic

It shouldn’t be surprising at this point but it still is. Hanging on the rim with your feet on the ground just isn’t natural. That’s wizardry. Plus he brought breaking rims back. A legend.

Nikola Jokic

Getting 100% completion on a video game is a difficult task, requiring a lot of work put into pointless minutiae. 100% completion in a single basketball game is near impossible, but Jokic got as close as I’ve seen. A near-perfect triple-double: 35 points, 11 rebounds, 11 assists on 11/11 shooting against the Suns on Saturday. A black mark of missing one of his 11 free throws is all that kept him from a perfect completion. Better luck next time.

Oklahoma City, Collectively

Even without Russell Westbrook in the first two games, the Thunder starting 0-3 is concerning. Giving up 131 points to the dang Kings is straight up alarming. Embarrassing, even. Yikes!

Brandon Ingram

He got tired of James Harden swinging elbows at defenders then begging for a foul call (understandable) which started the whole Rockets-Lakers altercation. When other people started getting back into it without him, he forced his way back into the action, swinging a wild, lanky fist in the general direction of Chris Paul. Hey, we all just want to be included. I kind of respect all of his actions, unnecessary as they were. Standing up for yourself and your teammates is good, I just wouldn’t recommend getting this intense about it.

Anthony Davis

This man wants the MVP and it looks like he can get it if he wants. His line over two games: 28.5/13/7/2.5/2.5. Meanwhile the Pelicans are averaging 140 points per game in two convincing wins. Looks good to me.

Dwight Howard

He has yet to play a game this season because of a butt injury. One of the most Dwight Howard things to ever happen.

Jimmy Butler

Dude is getting booed in his home arena, after requesting a trade, skipping the preseason, then showing up to practice to yell at the entire organization. And yet Minnesota is 2-1 when he plays and lost to Dallas in the game he sat. As much as Butler wants to win, I think he wants to prove a point more. Right now he’s doing both. Another successful act of pettiness in the NBA.

Rajon Rondo

Rondo gets two things across in this interview: he didn’t spit on Chris Paul, and also Chris Paul is a terrible person you shouldn’t feel sorry for. Almost as if he deserves to be spit on or something. Look, almost everyone thinks CP3 sucks too, but most of us wouldn’t spit on him. We see the video. Rondo spat on him. It’s bonkers to spit on someone, but to double down and deny the video evidence? Absolutely wild.

Red Panda

She’s back folks, and as great as ever. This nonsensical talent is ridiculous and will never get old. Thank god the NBA is back and, as always, providing much more than just basketball.

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