I Want My Tanne-thrills!

ncbstaff August 22, 2012 0
I Want My Tanne-thrills!

Ryan Tannehill is going to blaze a trail this season in Miami. He’s going to do something that Dan Marino, Bob Griese, and even Ace Ventura or Snowflake have never done: start the season opener as a rookie.

As a Fins fan, my hopes are high (but not too high). Over the years I’ve become accustomed to Dolphins’ suckitude as they have trotted out one mediocre quarterback after another. Just look at this impressive list of Dolphin starters since Dan Marino:

  1. Jay Fiedler (2000-04): Still my personal post-Marino favorite. I even have a Fiedler jersey!
  2. Damon Huard (1998-2000)
  3. Ray Lucas (2001-02): Burned us as a Jet and sucked as a Dolphin.
  4. Brian Griese (2003): No daddy magic here.
  5. AJ Feely (2004)
  6. Sage Rosenfels (2002-05)
  7. Gus Frerotte (2005): A downright titan compared to some of these other bums.
  8. Joey Harrington (2006): Ugh. Barf.
  9. Daunte Culpepper (2006): we could have had Brees. But we got shredded-beef knee instead (damn you, Saban!).Daunte Culpepper 2 300x227 I Want My Tanne thrills!
  10. Cleo Lemon (2006-07): No lemonade here. Just some stinky lemons.
  11. Trent Green (2007): His best days were definitely behind him and his career was basically over before he even signed in Miami.
  12. John Beck (2007): I try to block out the dumpster fire that was 2007.
  13. Chad Pennington (2008-10): A glimmer of hope in a bleak period. And then his shoulder exploded.
  14. Chad Henne (2008-11): Next!
  15. Tyler Thigpen (2010)
  16. Matt Moore (2011): This guy! Easy there, Gruden. Moore performed well last year . . . after the Dolphins had already lost 7 games! Unfortunately, he couldn’t hold on to the starting job once the golden boy showed up.
  17. Ryan Tannehill (2012-???): I hope that he’s good. Nay! I pray that he is good! Please, Lord NFL and almighty Football God, let Ryan Tannehill be good enough to provide us with more Tanne-thrills than Tanne-ills.

A long long list of suckage and mediocreness that I hope stops with Ryan Tannehill.

(images courtesy of Bleacher ReportSports Law Blog)


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