By no stretch of the imagination am I a scientist, with that out of the way I’d like to start this off by saying I created what in my head is the perfect formula to determine the greatest celebrity fan of every single NBA franchise.
My award-winning formula goes as is… we take each celebrity known for being a fan of said franchise, we eliminate the problematic ones i.e. throwing Woody Allen out the window from the Knicks celebrity wing. From there I separate the list into two groups, Group 1 being celebrities I can stand…Group 2 being those I cannot.
An from there since I’m writing this I just pick who I like best and give them the award as greatest (insert team name) celebrity fan. Simple enough, so enjoy and don’t forget you can always yell at me on Twitter about how I didn’t pick your favorite @DanielSoden.
The Undeniable Ones
Toronto Raptors: Drake
Drake is a bandwagon fan, who is pretty much getting paid to be the biggest Raptors fan. Only problem is I can’t think of another celebrity who’s love for the Raptors even comes close to the amount of love Drake shows them so he naturally takes this.
Also, I like those OVO Raptors jerseys and without his “fandom” we wouldn’t be blessed with them.
LA Clippers: Billy Crystal
In my head, I always picture Billy trying to get courtside tickets to a Lakers game but accidental bought tickets to a Clippers game and when he got there everyone was so ecstatic that he was there he just kept coming back. There hasn’t even been a celebrity that challenged him for the throne, so till then his reign will continue.
Boston Celtics: Bill Simmons
I’m pretty sure no sports journalist has been called a homer more times than Bill Simmons has and rightfully so. If there is an all-star player on the trade block, the Celtics should be calling. Best coach in the league must be Brad Stevens, and so on. Simmons has made his entire career off the building blocks of being the Boston Sports Guy.
I’m not sure anyone, not Damon, not Affleck, not even the Wahlberg’s can come close to the undevoted love that Simmons has for the Celtics franchise. Also, the fist pump will live on forever.
New York Knicks: Spike Lee
I wanted to come in here and throw everyone off by saying someone else, but I’d only be playing myself. Spike Lee for better or worse will be the biggest celebrity fan till the day he dies. I mean at this point he is pretty much their mascot and my ideal “F it I’ma buy the team” candidate.
LA Lakers: Jack Nicholson
The Purple & Golden standard is Jack; he is the most undeniable of the bunch. He also might very well be the longest reigning super fan of any sport, basically the NBA’s version of The License Plate Guy.
The People’s Champion(s)
Washington Wizards: Wale
Wale is pretty much the Washington Wizards of rap. For whatever reason both or often ignored or disrespected by causal fans. “Oh you listen to Wale” “Wait you actually think the Wizards stand a chance?”
The answer is yes to both…go listen to Fashion Week or watch highlights of Wall & Beal on YouTube and tell me with a straight face both aren’t near perfect.
Brooklyn Nets: Jay-Z
Jay-Z & Brooklyn pretty much mean the same thing at this point. Ever since the team made the move to Brooklyn there hasn’t been anyone, player or fan that has repped them like Jay has.
Chicago Bulls: President Barack Obama
This man brought basketball to the White House and represented Chicago to the fullest. I think we can all agree he’d make one hell of an NBA owner, I mean it can’t be that stressful in comparison.
Honorable runner up is Chance The Rapper….
Oklahoma City Thunder: Bill Hader
While plenty of these lists are out there, crazy how full of list the internet is, many seemed to list one Olivia Munn in this seat and that would be all well and good if Bill Hader wasn’t walking this here earth.
Hader is the Jack Nicholson of the mid-west, a true legend of American cinema and life-long Thunder fan. If you disagree we can throw fist.
San Antonio Spurs: Shea Serrano
There isn’t a single person on the face of this earth, not even his mother, that has the kind of love that Shea has for Tim Duncan. That alone beats out the likes of Selena Gomez, Samuel L Jackson & Shawn Michaels for greatest celebrity fan.
Detroit Pistons: Eminem
Eminem is pretty much Detroit, outside of sports & cars not much else is synonymous with the city like him. Also it was him or Kid Rock and at this point we all know who Piston fans want representing them.
Golden State Warriors: Guy Fieri
Let’s just assume that the rumors are true and Guy Fieri was one of the reasons that Kevin Durant jumped ship and went to the Warriors, that instantly make Fieri the greatest Warrior fan period and enemy number one to every Thunder fan. I know I haven’t watched Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives the same way since.
Philadelphia 76ers: Will Smith
“In West Philadelphia, born and raised, On the playground is where I spent most of my days, Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool, And all shootin’ some b-ball outside of the school.” This one is pretty much a given as Philly is known for Will Smith, Benjamin Franklin, cheesesteaks and Rocky an only one of them owns and roots for the team.
Dallas Mavericks: Mark Cuban
Cuban might be the biggest cheerleader of any owner/fan. The guy gets fined more than Marshawn Lynch, for the exact opposite reason.
Memphis Grizzlies: Justin Timberlake
Not much this guy can’t do, so of course he bought stake in his hometown team and made sure the team could keep veteran point guard Mike Conley when his contract was recently up. Now only if he could give us the NSYNC reunion we all demand.
Cleveland Cavaliers: Usher
Being a Cavs fan is a lot like having herpes. If it’s properly taken care of you’ll barley notice it, but the moment LeBron James leaves town it’s an ugly, disgusting scene that everyone and anyone notices.
Charlotte Hornets: Michael Jordan
The only real celebrities outside of Jordan in Charlotte have the last name Flair and I’ve yet to see them in a Larry Johnson jersey or a teal Starter jacket. By default, the owner himself gets the nod as their biggest celebrity fan. At least he’s had a hit movie.
New to The Party
Minnesota Timberwolves: Joe Mande
You know when you date someone who is has so much potential, but for some reason they never fully achieve anything of significance yet you stick by their side…. that’s Joe Mande and the Timberwolves in a nutshell. I give credit to Mande, who is one hell of a jersey aficionado.
Portland Trailblazers: Fred Armisen
Honestly all you really need is to watch this clip and you’ll know why Fred Armisen gets the nod here.
Indiana Pacers: Mike Epps
You would think that Reggie Miller would have created a better fan base during his time with Indiana, but alas it looks like it’s Mike Epps for the taking. Let’s see if he can stick it out with a Victor Oladipo & Myles Turner led squad.
Miami Heat: DJ Khaled
You know why Khaled gets the nod…he said this on television for the world to hear and for it to live forever on the internet.
Sacramento Kings: Hasan Minhaj
Early summer Minhaj did jumped on Bill Simmons podcast to talk his upcoming comedy special, it was during that conversation that he explained just how much of a fanboy he was for the Kings. You know it was real, because you could hear the pain in his voice as he talked about the 2002 Western Conference finals.
Atlanta Hawks: 2 Chainz
Last season 2 Chainz was able to convince the Hawks to be every rapper on a NYC street corner and make their fans take home a copy of his mixtape. That alone should and did get him the nod here, but honestly the story about Dominique Wilkins beating him in a game of HORSE while dressed in khakis is what put him over.
Orlando Magic: Tiger Woods
Kind of like Tiger Woods career the Magic have had a lot of ups and downs since their 1989 debut. Unlike the Magic Tiger has had a lot of success in his career.
Denver Nuggets: None
I’ve seen plenty of John Elway pictures, but I don’t buy that for one second. Anyone who could run Tim Tebow out of town is a crooked man. Matt Stone & Trey Parker would be my next guesses but I’ve yet to see concrete evidence that either man supports the Nuggets.
Utah Jazz: Macklemore
One time I saw him wearing a Gordon Hayward jersey, so I guess that makes him the most famous person outside of a team member to wear a Jazz jersey. If the Sonics ever return to Seattle I’ll gladly move him, but till then.
Houston Rockets: Bun B
Word on the internet is that every time Bun B drops a song with a reference to the Rockets, does an appearance for the team or just goes to a game something terrible happens. So I’m celebrating that and asking Bun to show up courtside a little more often, maybe throw an extra bar about the Rockets into your next guest verse and maybe even sign James Harden to a record deal.
Phoenix Suns: Alice Cooper
Prior to considering each franchise’s famous fans I’d only know of Phil Mickleson rooting for the Suns. Could you imagine doing a celebrity fan list for the NBA and have two golfers on it? I’d rather scrap off the burnt part of my toast with a butter knife then imagine the cruel world in which I choose Mickleson.
Instead I went with a lifelong Suns fan in Alice Cooper, who listed his top three Sun’s players as Paul Westphal, Tom Chambers and Kevin Johnson. Yeah I yawned at that list too, but at least it’s more exciting than Mickleson.
Milwaukee Bucks: Aaron Rodgers or Mallory Edens
Honestly you can pick what faux fan you want, because you know both only support the team because they should. Mallory Edens slightly edges out Rodgers because she “use to” root for the Knicks and that’s punishment enough.
New Orleans Pelicans: Master P
This past year Master P offered to be an assistant coach for the Pelicans, doesn’t get any more super fan then to offer you services as a coach or general manager because naturally you could do a better job than those who hold the position already.