Jetpacks! Jetpacks here! Get your jetpacks while they’re hot!
All right, fine. Maybe I’m giving this show too hard a time for getting its characters where they need to be in a timely fashion. The seventh (how are we already this far in?) episode of season six gave us mostly the same structure as last week’s “Blood of My Blood” — a lot of moving cyvasse (read: chess for the non-book readers) pieces and an Arya cliffhanger. Except for, of course…
Turns out his epic battle with Brienne wasn’t the end of him. Taken in by Brother Ray and his pious band of folksy folks, Sandor Clegane has another shot at finding meaning in his life. Or redemption. Or we could quit pretending there’s another possible result and just accept that he’s going to fight his brother at some point. #CleganeBowl
His former indentured apprentice Arya finds herself stuck with the pointy end after the waif catches up to her under the guise of a sweet old lady. One slice to the abdomen and a few jabs for good measure later, Arya drops into the canal as her only means of protection. She emerges bleeding and desperate, wary of every set of eyes around her. Given the title of next week’s episode, I don’t think we’ll go very long without some resolution here.
Most of the other characters made a stop at Littlefinger’s Jetpack Outlet Emporium. “The trusted brand for jet-setting across Westeros since 299 AC,” he says in that smarmy voice at the end of his infomercial. “Rocket-powered horses, boats, and armies! Yours today for only three easy installments of 5,000 golden dragons.”
Sorry, there I go again making light of how quickly people move across the map. It’s all for a good reason, and I certainly get that.
The pace with which some characters are moving is pretty incredible, though. Jon, Davos, and Sansa go from the wildling camp somewhere in the Gift, to Bear Island, to Deepwood Motte, and only manage to gather 62 of Lady Mormont’s fighters and some wildlings for their trouble. Jaime and Bronn make astounding time to Riverrun, just in time to see how badly the Freys have bungled their seige. And Yara and Theon show up in Volantis, after it’s revealed they’re hoping to one-up Uncle Euron and make a pact with Daenerys before he can.
That said, for all the movement, it still feels like the pieces aren’t quite there for the kind of epic encounters we’re wanting. And now that I’ve typed that, I fully expect the show to prove me 100% wrong in a very short amount of time.
– The Hound! And not a reformed, pious Hound like many were expecting. Dude’s back to being a cold-blooded killer, if the shot of him grabbing an axe is any indication.
– Atta girl, Margaery. We knew you had it in you.
– The scene with Cersei and Olenna was perfunctory, but still totally worth it. Having Olenna ruthlessly insult Cersei had to be a dream scene in the writing room. Ultimately not important, but so, so fun to watch.
– Does the High Septon’s scheme really depend on Tommen and Margaery’s marital “congress”? Weird.
– Seriously, though. Who gave Jon and crew a boat to get to Bear Island?
– Wun Wun for the win win! (Sorry.)
– I was more shocked by the demeanor of Lyanna Mormont than the reappearance of the Hound. Hilarious stuff.
– Seriously, though. One episode and the Lannister army has gone from King’s Landing to Riverrun. If only G.R.R.M. had used that speed the opposite way in A Storm of Swords…
– I don’t know how Jaime will fare around Riverrun, but I’m glad Bronn is there to provide pithy sayings and whatnot.
– Drink the ale, Theon! Drink!
– Seriously, though. Theon and Yara are already in Volantis. By my rough estimate, that means they’re already 80% of the way to Meereen from the Iron Islands.
– Slaying an innocent group of people doesn’t seem like what I remember of the purview of the Brotherhood Without Banners. Perhaps they’re re-dedicated to the ferocity of the Lord of Light under new leadership? Can’t be long until we find out.
– Seriously, though. Is the chatter Arya overhears about the Iron Fleet being in Slaver’s Bay the show’s way of speeding things up even more?
– Arya’s stabbing truly shocked me. I thought the show would find a way for Arya to identify the waif and turn the battle in her favor in some creative way. Nope. Knife in the gut. And now we wait.
– Can we get a jetpack ride to next Sunday night? Seriously, though.
Episode 608 Preview: “No One”
Synopsis: Tyrion seeks a strange ally. Bran learns a great deal. Brienne goes on a mission. Arya is given a chance to prove herself.
Thanks for reading. See you back here next week for “No One.” Valar dohaeris.