Bryan Gottula

Fantasy Football Team Names 2013

It’s that time of year when you start to notice that magazine shelves are stocked full of fantasy football magazines and you’re reminded that it’s time to go home, get on the Internet and start doing research for free. Thanks for the reminder, magazine publishers! Anyway, if you’re anything like me you spend equally as much time debating what your fantasy football team name should be as much as you do about your draft board. In fact, some years I’ve spent more time agonizing over whether the stupid pun I came up with for Cam Newton will be funny to anyone but me more than I did on who I should take with my first pick. Don’t be like me. You concentrate on your roster. I’ll help you with your team name. I’ve gathered and created dozens of potential names for your 2013 fantasy football team that are available at your disposal and don’t totally suck. If you think you’ve got something better that didn’t make the cut, share it in the comments.  (Click here for the 2014 version)

Purple Yeezus

Purple Yeezus

Music Theme
Arian My Wayward Son
Back that Asomugha Up
Belicheck Yourself Before You Rex Yourself
Bjoern to be Wild
Cry Me a Rivers
The Dark Side of Warren Moon
Flacco of Seagulls
Ginn and Juice
Goodson Vibrations
Helu. Is it me you’re looking for?
Here’s My Number, So Call Me Brady
I’m Sorry Fred Jackson
Let’s Talk About Rex, Baby
Make It Wayne
Pierre-Paul & Mary
Purple Yeezus
Rice Rice Baby
Sexy Andy Knows It
Shot Through Gerhart, and You’re to Blame
Smells Like Tebow Spirit
Teach Me How To Raji
Waka Flacco Flame
Weeden Start The Fire

Bowe-Ner Jams


TV/Movie Theme
The Boldin the Beautiful
Bowe-ner Jams
The Burfict Storm
Burressted Development
Dezzie Does Dallas
Eddie Royal with Cheese
Forgetting Brandon Marshall
Full Metal Joeckel
Jamaal Charles in Charge
Jersey Leshoure
Henne Given Sunday
Hakuna Ma-Ngata
James Starks of Winterfell
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood
The Power of Rice Compels You
Schaub Shank Redemption
Stafford & Son
Saving Matt Ryan
Teenage Newton Ninja Turtles
Whatchu Talkin’ Bout Patrick Willis
Yo Gabba Gabbert

Image via

Smokin’ Jay Cutler

35 Points for Griffindore
52 Shades of Clay
Bad Case of Laurinaitis
Cruz Control
Foster: Australian for Touchdown
The Garden of Weeden
Jacksonville RedZone Channel
J.J. S.W.A.T.T. Team
Klugs Not Drugs
Medulla Amendola
Messing with Manti
Mingo Ate My Baby
Patriots Jersey Exchange Program
Purple Jesus Juice
rED Hochuli Peppers
Ron Mexico
Roethlisberger and Fries
Smokin’ Jay Cutler
Zombie Al Davis

Riley Cooper Klux Klan

Riley Cooper Klux Klan

Probably Inappropriate
4th & 25 to Life
Blount Blowin’
Bowe Chicka Bowe Wow
Dirty Sanchez’s
Dropping a Doucet
Drunk Diehl’ing
Eric Dingle Berry
Golden Taint
Hernandez Cellblock
Jacquizz Stains
Jerry’s Kids
Joe Buck Yourself
Let’s Skip the Forte
More Cushing for the Pushing
Morning Woodhead
Once You Go Blackmon You Never Go Back
Pimpin’ Ain’t Breesy
Riley Cooper Klux Klan
Shaved Percy
Smokin Weeden Drinkin Fortes
Suh Girls, One Cup
Titus Young Pu***
Turn Your Head and Coughlin

Eddie Lacy's Diet

Eddie Lacy’s Diet

Player/Personality Themed
Andy Dalton’s Red Rocket
Chris Berman’s Backsweat
Ed Hochuli’s Bowflex
Eddie Lacy’s Diet
John Elway’s Teeth
Ryan Tannehill’s Wife
JaMarcus Russell’s Purple Drank
Joe Namath’s 12-Step Program
Kerry Rhodes’ Beard
Marcus Vick’s Bounty
Mark Sanchez’ Butt Bongos
Merrill Hoge’s Tieknot
Michael Irvin’s Tie
Osi Umenyiora’s Facemask
Peter King’s IPA/Latte/Coffee
Peyton Manning’s Fivehead
RG3’s Wedding Registry
Rob Gronkowski’s Night in Vegas
Rolando McClain’s Mugshot
Terrell Suggs’ Gums
Tom Brady’s Uggs Boots
Vince Young’s Steakhouse

Victorious Secret

Victorious Secret

Balls Deep
Multiple Scorgasms
Off in the Corner
Playin’ The Field
Show Me Your TD’s
Spread Eagles
Steeler Virginity
That’s What Cheesehead
Victorious Secret
Vinegar Strokes



  1. James

    August 8, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Nice list(s), man! I think Lacy with the bags of food is a trip. You should check out if you get a chance. They’ve got a huge list of team names, but no awesome photoshop images.

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