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No Coast Bias’ Top 10 Articles of 2013

2013 was one of the wackiest years in sports ever, and the NCB crew did their best to cover all the madness of this past calendar year. Below you will find the top 10 most viewed articles from the site. The articles range from unnecessary lists, analysis drenched in satire, guest write-ups and just plain humor.

We excluded our interviews from the list, but be sure to check them out here.

Without further ado, we present to you No Coast Bias’ top 10 articles of 2013….

10. The All-Time MTV Rock N’ Jock Basketball All-Star Team

by Derek 

Coach Cortese.

Coach Cortese.

Highlight:

Bill Bellamy (Captain) –

Could any all-time list start with anybody but this Rock N’ Jock Hall of Famer?

The man was pretty much the face of the event and not only did he give us hilarious moments like the The Booger in Your Nose Okie-Doke (see below) but the man produced on the court as proof by his multiple MVP awards.

I was thisclose to naming him both a player and the coach of this team but with him only winning two out of the seven titles as either a player/coach or as just a player I just couldn’t give him the nod for my squad.You play to win the game right?

Somehow, someway there is ZERO mention of his participation in any of the Rock N’ Jock events on hisWiki page. However, it does mention that he’s cousins with Shaq. Balling is in his blood.

9. Five Logical Reasons Nebraska Will win the National Championship

by Brian 

National champs

Highlight:

Is Nebraska the best team in the country? No. But media-types still believe the Big Ten has some cache and thus the BCS can’t keep an unbeaten Big Ten team out over a one-loss SEC team. There are probably a ten teams better than Nebraska this year, but the Husker offense and defense will be good enough to get them through their soft schedule and into the title game. All teams better than them will have eliminated each other. In the end, its Nebraska over Stanford. Seems logical, right?

8. Faux or Bo – Who Said It?

by Derek 

bo pelini mad

Highlight:

The imitator has done such a great job of channeling the original that some have questioned whether or not the real Bo Pelini isn’t behind the account. Although this is HIGHLY unlikely, I’m so confident that it’s not that I’d bet my Runza Eating license on it, you’d have a hard time deciphering between Faux’s Tweet’s and interview answers and the real Bo’s quotes.

Don’t believe me? Well, see if you can identify which quotes were Faux and which were Bo.

—–

1. “The BCS! That’s why they made that call!”

2. “My job isn’t to win football games…”

3. “We just have to execute. Georgia is a good football team. It’s a process. Shut up. Next question.”

7. The Game of Football

by Lisa (guest post from Oscar McBride)

FB

Highlight:

Whether it’s the “Thug Life” mentality of former New England Patriots Tight End Aaron Hernandez, the seemingly juvenile behavior of “Johnny Football,” NCAA violations running rampant in the SEC (duh), or the most recent scandal which could ultimately destroy a thriving Oklahoma State program we all tune in to see when the next hammer will fall and who’s head it might crush on impact. Forgetting about the real reason any of this stuff is happening …

Hello people! It’s all because some young man has a talent to play one of the greatest games ever invented … football.

Wait … wait … before your guys go all ACLU on me I’m not taking anything away from basketball, baseball, hockey, lacrosse, soccer, track & field, tennis, swimming, rugby, golf, cricket, boxing, equestrian, MMA or ahh-hem … cheerleading … all I’m saying is that football makes sense to me.

Lemme ‘splain.

6. Taylor Martinez’s Walking Boot Revealed!

by Chris Hatch

Boots are made for walking

5. You Might Be A Husker Homer If…

by Derek 

HUSKER HOMER

Highlight:

You might be a Husker Homer if … you think we can’t attract anyone better than Bo. 

Nevermind all those fan votes and countless Facebook statuses saying we have the best fans, program, facilities, people, beef, grass, whatever. We may proudly proclaim we’re THE BEST, but that doesn’t apply to attracting top coaches. We’re kind of like that supermodel girl with an awesome personality, amazing work ethic, and access to a ton of money…that settles for some guy from her hometown that’s not terrible, but also not the best she could do. A guy that’s not a perfect 10 but more like a 9/12 or 10/14.

If we ever lost Bo, we couldn’t find anyone better.

4. Kendrick Perkins Just Had The Worst Playoff Run Ever…Literally

by Derek

NBA: Minnesota Timberwolves at Oklahoma City Thunder

 

Highlight:

If that was bad enough, once you did actually dive into the numbers, Perkins play was even worse than you could imagine. If you look at his Player Efficiency Rating, Perk had THE WORST PLAYOFF RUN EVER. Or at least for anyone that logged at least 200 minutes in the playoffs.

In fact, Perk is the only player to ever post a NEGATIVE PER. That is mind-boggling. That growl you see from him is pretty much the only thing left from the Pre-ACL Injury/Celtics version of Perk.

3. The Midway Point of 2013: An Exhaustive Recap of Why This May Be The Weirdest Sports Year Ever

by Chris Hatch

teo gf

 

Highlight:

Manti Te’o’s fake-girlfriend didn’t fake-die because she never really existed.  For real.

This story has been re-hashed to death, (*Author’s note: here was my take at the time.)  but it is still one of the weirdest sports stories since OJ decided to haul-ass out of dodge in that legendary white Ford Bronco.  There are several possibilities here and I doubt that we’ll ever actually know what the H happened, but here they are:

1.  Manti was preyed upon.  Get it?  Get it?  (*Author’s note: I’d like to take this moment to apologize.)  Meaning he was conned by one of the all-time great hoaxers.  He was catfished so hard that he should’ve immediately sprouted whiskers and changed his name to Siluriformes Te’o.

2.  He was in on it.  He used the fictitious death as a way to generate a feel-good story about rising above tragedy and persevering through the hard times and rode that wave of momentum to the Heisman trophy ceremony and a steaming pile of national acclaim.  We were duped by a shifty, shoddy, no-good liar.  If this is true?  He should probably consider a career in politics instead of football.

3.  We’ve spiraled into a 4th dimension where everything that we see on the internet turns out to be true.  Lennay Kekua was real.  Justin Bieber has died 12 times this year.  Kanye West’s daughter was created in a laboratory by the Illuminati and David Stern will continue to rig NBA drafts until his body is cryogenically frozen.

2. Indoor Football League Head Coach Goes All “Woody Hayes” on Opposing Running Back

by NCB Staff

1. Fantasy Football Team Names 2013

by Bryan 

Bowe-Ner Jams

Bowe-Ner Jams

Highlight:

TV/Movie Theme
The Boldin the Beautiful
Bowe-ner Jams
The Burfict Storm
Burressted Development
Dezzie Does Dallas
Eddie Royal with Cheese
Forgetting Brandon Marshall
Full Metal Joeckel
Jamaal Charles in Charge
Jersey Leshoure
Henne Given Sunday
Hakuna Ma-Ngata
James Starks of Winterfell
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood
The Power of Rice Compels You
RG-3P0
Schaub Shank Redemption
Stafford & Son
Saving Matt Ryan
Teenage Newton Ninja Turtles
Whatchu Talkin’ Bout Patrick Willis
Yo Gabba Gabbert

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