College Football

COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEKLY PICKS: Week One

IT’S OVER Y’ALL OMIGOSH WE DID IT FOOTBALL IS BACK IN JUST A FEW SHORT HOURS OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH

I’m excited to introduce a new weekly feature on No Coast Bias: THE WEEKLY PICKS, wherein I pretend to know what in the dang heck’s gonna happen, even though we all know such at thing is impossible.

But good lord, we’ve waited long enough. PICK TIME!

NORTH CAROLINA vs. SOUTH CAROLINA (Charlotte, NC)

Two of the sport’s greatest mysteries: the perennial dark horse Tar Heels battle a coach trying to prove he’s still got it. While rumors of Steve Spurrier’s impending retirement may or may not be greatly exaggerated, he’s got a job to do fixing a miserable defense, against which UNC will have plenty of weapons to throw. But Spurrier isn’t empty-handed himself with the likes of Pharoh Cooper around. South Carolina 35, North Carolina 31

MICHIGAN at UTAH

A very intriguing opening week game between Michigan and new head coach Jim “MANBALL POWER PUNCH RAGE” Harbaugh and Kyle Wittingham’s Utes, who have built a Pac-12 South contender on many of the same principles. I think Utah’s a bit more talented and Michigan will still be finding its feet, but if this game were week fourteen instead of one I’d probably pick the other way. Utah 27, Michigan 20 (Utes fans, I know the featured image in this article is from 2010. But it’s really cool. Sorry.)

#2 TCU at MINNESOTA

The 2014 version of this game (a 30-7 Horned Frogs victory) wound up being a point of discussion much later into the season than we anticipated. I don’t expect the Golden Gophers have the weapons to win this one but lord knows Jerry Kill will try to ugly it up as much as he can. TCU 34, Minnesota 20

LOUISVILLE vs. #6 AUBURN (Atlanta, GA)

A touching reunion for former Georgia transfers. Louisville’s stingy defense keeps this one close for a little while but I think new defensive coordinator Will Muschamp shuts down the Cards on offense. Auburn 31, Louisville 17

#15 ARIZONA STATE vs. TEXAS A&M (Houston, TX)

This one is gonna be a right kick in the pants. I love these offenses that can score in the blink of an eye and these two defenses looking to improve. I think A&M’s a bit better stocked and I’ll pick them to ice the game by forcing a late turnover. Texas A&M 41, Arizona State 38

TEXAS at #11 NOTRE DAME

I’m not as high on Notre Dame as a lot of people, namely due to it’s secondary’s woeful underperformance in 2014 . . . but that won’t be an issue tonight, as Texas’ offense is scaring no one. This one has all the makings of a low-scoring slugfest so it’ll probably be 60-51. Notre Dame 23, Texas 7

#20 WISCONSIN vs. #3 ALABAMA (Arlington, TX)

Everything within me wants to pick Wisconsin to pull off this upset, but while the Badgers are going to be very good defensively and as effective on the ground as ever, I can’t see Joel Stave beating the Tide. Alabama 31, Wisconsin 20

#1 OHIO STATE at VIRGINIA TECH

With the eyes of the college football nation upon it, Ohio State goes to Blacksburg for a rematch against the last team to beat it. Even with the suspensions I think the Bucks have too much firepower (and the Hokies not nearly enough) to eke out a win. What I hope is that Frank Beamer throws a whole bunch of special teams wackiness and some weird tricks on offense, but somehow I don’t see it. Ohio State 34, Virginia Tech 17

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