This David Ortiz Retirement Gift Will Haunt New York Yankee Fans Forever

If you haven’t heard, David Ortiz aka Big Papi aka the most clutch hitter in Boston Red Sox history aka the greatest designated hitter in MLB history is retiring after this season. He announced his retirement plans last November via The Players’ Tribune and Red Sox fans, including myself, have been dreading it.

What Ortiz has done for Red Sox Nation during his 14 year career in Boston exceeded any expectations the city had for him.

He helped lead one of the greatest comebacks in sports history during the 2004 ALCS against the New York Yankees. As you most likely know, the Sox were down 3-0 going into game four and everything changed. His walk-off two-run homer in game four sparked an improbable run that eventually lead to the Red Sox first World Series title in 86 years. Ortiz helped add on two more World Series titles in 2007 and 2013.

All the on-field accolades and championships Ortiz helped bring to Boston wasn’t even his most impressive feat.

Ortiz’s speech during the Red Sox first home game after the horrific Boston Marathon Bombing was the greatest thing he’s ever done in a Red Sox uniform and it’s not even close. He reunited a city that was broken down and hurting. What he did that day for the city will be remembered till the end of time.


Ortiz has said he doesn’t want a farewell tour but he’s shit out of luck. That’s how things are nowadays. If you’re a star athlete who announces their retirement before the season, you’re getting a farewell tour. As the David Ortiz Retirement Tour moves forward, teams from across the league will honor him one way or another. He’ll receive standing ovations, gifts that he’ll most likely never use and some other stuff.

The way fans normally honor these players during their final season is just cheer them on as much as possible. We saw Kobe Bryant get standing ovations everywhere he went even though the Lakers were trash. He even got a standing ovation in Boston which was a wild scene.

Katie Nolan, host of Garbage Time on Fox Sports 1 and native Bostonian, came up with a retirement gift idea that can honor Ortiz while messing with Yankee fans in their home state.

Having a bench in the middle of Central Park dedicated to Ortiz is perfect. Ortiz is hated in New York for what he’s done against the Yankees throughout his career. He’s crushed them again with another late inning two-run homerun this season. I’m sure Yankee fans were excited to hear that he was retiring because he’s been a Yankee killer. But now they have to be reminded of everything he’s done against them every single time they take a stroll through Central Park. It’s the perfect middle finger to a stuck up fan base who loves mentioning all the rings they’ve won before WW2 was even a historical event.

If you’re a Red Sox fan or just someone who hates the Yankees, you can donate to the cause at the following sites: benchforbigpapi.com | benchbetterhavemymoney.com.

Sidenote: paying $10,000 to dedicate a bench to someone is the biggest robbery in robbery history. I’ll admit that I don’t know enough about the bench dedication business but there’s no way that price is legal. The only thing they add to the bench is a name plate. And the nameplate price is probably $24.99 at your local Home Depot. I understand the sentimental value of it all but even that is only like $2,000 if we’re being realistic. Someone needs to seriously look into this because I can guarantee it’s not legal.


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