The Bachelorette Week 1 Recap: First Impressions are Everything

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I honestly didn’t expect to watch this Bachelorette season simply because I had no real attachments to Rachel, and I feared it might be boring. I genuinely liked her on Nick Viall’s Bachelor season, but I didn’t picture her to be the “normal” Bachelorette-type. She seemed too normal and down-to-Earth to fit the Bachelorette mold that I have made-up in my mind. But, maybe that’s what makes her unique?

Regardless, Nick didn’t deserve Rachel; she’s way out of his league. Nick’s boring, kind of an asshole, and [insert word for “not so great guy” here]. I was happy to find out Rachel had been chosen to “find love” via the show, even if I decided not to watch it. 

Monday night rolled around, and I had other obligations, which left me unable to watch the premiere live. I felt left out despite my attempt to remove myself from Bachelor Nation’s grips. I mean, the Bachelor/Bachelorette has become appointment television solely because of, in my case, Twitter. I interact with what seems like my whole timeline, who’s watching with me. This week, I watched alone, took notes, and laughed by myself….

Not even five minutes into the show, I’m sold on Rachel as the Bachelorette; she has a cute dog and an even better personality than I remembered. Plus, there’s ZERO GIRL DRAMA FOR AN ENTIRE SEASON!!!! (Oh, but wait, there’s still drama with men and I always forget this.) 

In ways the introduction of the show felt more fake than ever: Chris Harrison’s narration, the former contestants posing as her best friends and (potential) future bridesmaids…what?! (Did Rachel even talk to Corinne, Jasmine and Alexis?!) I almost skipped forward on Hulu, but it’s part of the experience, so I cringed through it.

Honestly, I didn’t care about any part of the first half of the episode — I was waiting for the first impressions. But here’s a breakdown of how I felt about each person’s first impression:

Peter, 30: He’s from Wisconsin, wants to be “good Wisconsin guy” — super cheesy, but he’s cute

Josiah, 28: “No reasonable doubt that I’m the man for you.” — legal terms, cute way to relate?

Bryan, 37: speaks Spanish, asks “have you ever dated a Colombian guy before?”, tells her she’s “in trouble” — mmmmmm, I liked this guy!

Kenny, 35: The wave dance guy —  lol what a cheeseball

Rob, 29: First round draft pick — later showed her the card, cute but also cheesy

Iggy, 30: Snooze fest — they have men talking over his intro, which means he was boring

Bryce, 30: LITERALLY sweeps her off her feet AND he’s a firefighter — very gorgeous

Will, 28: Urkel — plays to her humor, which was cute

Diggy, 28: “Teach you how to diggy” — Ok Ok… 

Kyle, 26: “Show you my buns”, Jamaican buns and cheese — that threw me off sooo…

Blake K, 29: He offered “words of encouragement”, his grandparents celebrated 65 years of marriage — super cute, and gone too soon (didn’t receive rose)

Brady, 29: Literally breaks the ice, model — I don’t know how I feel about this guy

*Dean, 29: “Black & never go back”; asked reaction — I think he’s cute, he got two impressions

*Eric, 29: dances with her 

*DeMario, 30: Vegas tickets elope; many firsts — cute, but overconfident? 

*Blake E., 31: marching band for more memory — CREEPY

Fred, 27: brought a yearbook & she was in it — CREEPY

Jonathan, 31: tickles her OMG awkward — he creeps me out

Lee, 30: sings a random country tune — turns out to be a villain, so nope

Alex, 28: clean up crew — annoying

Milton, 31: selfies with Fujifilm — annoying with the cat noise

Adam, 26: brings dummy AJ — creepy, but I like the French speaking 🙂

Matt, 32: penguin — mate for life — annoyed by the costume gimmick at this point

Grant, 29: medical professional — underwhelmed 

Anthony, 29: —

Jamey, 32: —

Jack Stone: —

Uhhhh…. did those last three guys even say anything? because I clearly caught nothing, and they didn’t impress me.

Mohit, 26: “Only time I’ll have the upper hand” — didn’t even talk to her later… BYE

Jedidiah: Biblical reference — He also creeped me out

Mike, 26: “Blacker the brownie, sweeter the dew” — what is that supposed to mean?”

Lucas, 30: Awful speaker thing & whaboom! omg — yeah, clearly annoyed by Lucas…

The AJ doll antics were awful….The Whaboom! guy (dare I say he’s worse than Corinne) was too much… Of course he makes great TV, but I cannot stand him. Here’s to hoping he’s gone next week, and that Lucas is revealed as the villain — I’m just assuming from previews — soon because that’s “better” TV. 

First impression rose: Brian, the Chiropractor 

Rachel chose well by giving Brian the first impression rose. He had my swooning at first sight. And if he stole a kiss from me like that! He also seems to be a genuine guy, but as we know, time will tell. As I’m watched Rachel had roses out I knew that, for TV purposes, Whaboom! guy & penguin man would get to stay. It’s what makes the show interesting, not necessarily genuine. It makes for good laughs when the other men freak out… 

Still there’s plenty of handsome men for Rachel to choose from to find her husband. Of course, there will be fist-fighting, ex-girlfriend drama, villains, and lots of crying. 

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