College Basketball

An Act of Bravery: Watching the NBA During March Madness

March Madness is dope. With that much basketball being played in that short amount of time it’s pretty much guaranteed, because basketball is dope. But here’s the deal: it’s still college basketball, and college basketball kinda sucks.

This is obviously just one man’s opinion, but I feel I speak for many. I get that March Madness has buzzer beaters and upsets and that’s all fine and good. But none of that is unexpected; if you get the best teams to play each other on the same weekend in any sport that’s going to happen. It’s fun, but it’s not the overwhelming, impossible gift from God than many act like it is.

Everything that happens during the tournament has happened before, but with each and every upset and last second shot I am blessed to see a flood of “ONLY IN MARCH, BABY!!!!” tweets on my timeline. I’ll watch basketball anytime, you don’t to sell me on how unique and rare these tournament games are.

I’m also calling BS on many upsets, especially this year, considering how inane and nonsensical the secretive, shady selection committee is with their seeding. If the better team wins, it can’t really be an upset.

I realize I’m being a real antagonistic Debbie Downer, but I have to speak up. College basketball is not fun to watch, and the tournament doesn’t change that. The last couple minutes are exciting, and that’s all I need to see. I’m not interested in seeing the two teams stumble and claw their way to ~150 combined points for 38 minutes before the buzzer beater actually happens.

My advice to you is this: be bold, don’t fall in with the crowd, and watch the NBA this weekend. Keep the tournament on in the mornings, watching basketball all day is the real gift from March Madness. But once the varsity starts playing, it’s time to turn off the JV game. It’s a more enjoyable basketball experience, and you feel good watching something so few others are. It’s like finding an artist only you like, a secret joy nobody else can ruin. (Similar to my insistence that Carly Rae Jepsen’s new album is 50x better than Taylor Swift’s. Fight that battle with me too, please.)

Keep an eye on March Madness, though, and flip over for a while if it’s a close game at the end. Hopefully the college coaches won’t micromanage the final minutes so intensely that it takes 20 minutes, and you can see an exciting finish and get back to the real show.

No disrespect, but the Warriors and Spurs play at 7:30 CT tonight and that’s some real basketball right there. I’ll be there. Don’t chicken out and join me. You may be ridiculed, you may lose some friends over it, but stay strong. Fight the good fight and stick up for the best basketball in the world.

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